At What Age Can a Child Decide Who to Live With? 

When parents separate, one of the most challenging decisions is determining where a child will live. Many parents ask, “When can a child decide which parent to live with in Australia?” While children’s preferences are taken into account, Australian law does not set a specific age at which a child can make this decision independently. Instead, courts prioritise the best interests of the child, considering their views alongside other crucial factors.

Does a Child Have the Right to Choose?

Unlike in some other countries, Australian family law does not grant children the absolute right to decide where they will live. Instead, Section 60CC of the Family Law Act 1975 outlines the factors courts consider when making parenting orders.

A child’s wishes do matter, but the weight given to their preference depends on:

• Their age and maturity
• Their ability to understand the consequences of their choice
• Whether their views are independent or influenced by one parent
• Their emotional and physical wellbeing

While older children and teenagers may have more influence over their living arrangements, the final decision is made based on their best interests, not just their wishes.

A Legal Example: The Bondelmonte v Bondelmonte Case

A landmark High Court case, Bondelmonte v Bondelmonte, highlights how courts assess a child’s expressed wishes within the broader context of family law.

In this case, two boys (aged 15 and 17) clearly stated they wanted to remain in New York with their father. However, the Court ruled that they could not stay there permanently despite their strong preference.

Key Takeaways from the Case

• The children’s wishes were considered but were not the sole deciding factor.
• The Court found that their father had unduly influenced their views.
• The decision reinforced that a child’s best interests do not always align with their wishes, even for older teenagers.

This case illustrates that while children’s voices are heard, the final ruling always depends on multiple factors, including their welfare, stability, and parental influence.

How the Court Considers a Child’s Wishes

If a dispute over living arrangements arises, a child’s views may be assessed in the following ways:

1. Independent 3rd Party Reports, Family Reports & Independent Children’s Lawyers

Courts often rely on an independent court appointed psychologist or psychiatrist, Family Consultants or Independent Children’s Lawyers (ICLs) to gather insight into a child’s perspective. These professionals speak with the child and evaluate their situation to provide an impartial assessment.

2. Age & Maturity Matter

There is no set age, but as a general rule, a court is more likely to consider the wishes of a mature 14-year-old than a younger child. However, even at 16 or 17, if a court believes staying with a parent is not in the child’s best interests, they may overrule their wishes.

3. The Risk of Parental Influence

A child’s views can be influenced—intentionally or unintentionally—by a parent. Courts closely examine whether the child’s choice is genuinely their own or if it has been shaped by pressure, manipulation, or emotional dependency.

Key Considerations for Parents

If you are facing a dispute over parenting arrangements, consider the following:

• Support Open Communication – Allow your child to express their feelings without pressure.
• Seek Mediation – Family dispute resolution can help reach a balanced agreement.
• Consult a Family Lawyer – Legal advice ensures you understand your rights and obligations.

Final Thoughts: When Can a Child Decide Which Parent to Live With in Australia?

While children’s wishes are considered in Australian family law, they do not have the sole right to decide where they live. Courts weigh many factors, including their age, maturity, parental influence, and overall well being.

If you need advice regarding your child’s living arrangements, speaking with an experienced family lawyer can help you navigate the legal process and ensure the best outcome for your child.